nuts4chic - columnist
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Southern U. S. states tend to be prudish. Several southern states, most notably Alabama, have banned the sale of sex toys, citing the toys as prurient and obscene.
All that means is that you can't stop at the local sex toys shop in Alabama and buy a Pocket Rocket because such a store would be against the law. But you can buy from Amazon.
In another ban related to sex, it is against the law in some southern states to cohabit without being married. It is against the law to "live in sin" in Florida, Mississippi, North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, Michigan, and North Dakota.
Freshman Democrat Tracy Potter in North Dakota is not happy with this law, and is seeking to get rid of it. Apparently, 23,000 of the state's 642,000 residents are living together as opposite-sex partners. They are breaking a law that dates back to 1889.
The North Dakota State Senate approved a bill that would lift the ban unless the unmarried couple passed themselves off as married to commit fraud. If convicted, the guilty would spend thirty days in jail and pay a $1,000 fine.
While North Dakota's law focuses on heterosexual couples, gay and lesbian couples around the country would have a difficult time if they live in states where these cohabitation bans are in effect. Some of them would like to get married if they could. Some states such as Massachusetts are progressive regarding the rights of gays and lesbians, including their right to marry. It's only a matter of time before state laws are enacted that would make that dream a reality.
These cohabitation bans are interesting in light of social changes in the structure of the family. For the first time, there are more women living without husbands than with husbands.
Fewer American women are marrying these days than ever before. One reason that marriage rates are down is that more men and women are cohabiting. Marriage won't go away, and very few people really want it to go away, but it is not the only family form out there. Anti-cohabitation laws are archaic, and they need to be repealed.
One of the most unusual and galling cases of a community that rejects cohabitation is the community of Black Jack, Missouri. Black Jack is located near St. Louis. Are you a gay or lesbian couple? Are you straight, and have you been living with your partner without the benefit of marriage for many happy years? Are you two divorced mothers living together with your children so that you have support and companionship?
If you are any of the above, Black Jack, Missouri will not welcome you. Black Jack will tell you to not let the door smack your butt on the way out. Black Jack has an ordinance that says "a home cannot be inhabited by three or more individuals not related by 'blood, marriage, or adoption'."
Black Jack made the news when an unmarried couple with triplets bought a home there. The city had forbidden them to move in because they are not married. The couple challenged the ordinance, but lost. A former resident was not allowed to live there because she wanted to move into her home with her fiance – before they were married. Black Jack didn't even acknowledge that they were soon going to be married. Not married? Not interested.
The city is apparently afraid that permitting cohabitation would lead to frat houses or communal living organizations setting up stakes in Black Jack. What are they afraid of? Gay parents or couples? Polyamorous families with several children? Foster parents? Cohabiting couples that have lived together longer than many married couples?
Cohabiting couples are not going to strip you of your property values. They are ordinary people who work, raise children, and are productive members of society. There are more people living together today than are married.
Marriage does have its upside, but it's not perfect. There are other family forms that are just as valid as the heterosexual married family with their own biological children.
Wake up, and welcome to the 21st century!
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