But the maternal urge is so strong that many women not only end up as single mothers, but some actually choose to be so by removing a man out of the equation completely (sperm banks clearly have a lot to answer for). But who can blame them, really?
I was therefore slightly dismayed when I watched Panorama: The right time for a baby? Kate Silverton, a smart, attractive and self-
assured television newsreader in her mid-thirties, was investigating the fact that the age of first-time mothers in Britain is steadily rising, and the health implications of this. The woman was obviously absolutely desperate to have a child herself, and in every scene you could practically hear her biological clock clanging away, drowning out the sound of the ‘fertility expert’ droning on and on about this and that, and the teenage mother suggesting that the best age for a woman (or girl, rather) to have babies is “between 18 and 25 – because her body is at its best then”.
Good grief! I am obviously destined for the knacker’s yard!
Continuing the ubiquitous ‘biological clock’ theme, at the end of every scene there was a soft-focus sepia image of a (slim) woman’s abdomen with an ominously ticking clock silhouetted against it. This programme was irresponsible journalism from beginning to end. Over-emotional, devoid of fact and full of speculation and accusation against those women who, for their own personal and private and almost certainly logical reasons, choose to delay motherhood or otherwise rule it out completely. Are we obliged to give birth, just because we have wombs? Everyone is supposedly born with a brain, but it seems that precious few actually use theirs.
Here’s some numbers for you: 21, 27, 35, 44.
The first is the age at which, according to scientists, a woman’s fertility is at its peak. The second, the age at which it is starting to (slowly, but surely) decline. The third number is the age at which a woman’s chances of conceiving are approximately half of those of a woman in her early twenties. The last number is the age at which you are probably best advised to just forget about it, and make do with your cats and home cooking instead. Or if you’re rich, why not give IVF a go?
Do you know what I say to all this? BOLLOCKS. Or rather, OVARIES. How dare anyone tell us when we should and shouldn’t have children? It is the single most monumentally life-changing and irreversible decision any of us – male or female – will ever make, and to put a ‘best before’ stamp on it is utterly preposterous – especially in this modern world where we have more choices than ever and are no longer restrained by the expectations that were imposed upon our mothers and certainly our grandmothers. But in spite of this, do we not already have enough pressures on us? Are we really to believe that it is only right and responsible that we, as intelligent and educated women of the 21st century, should all aim to start our families during our peak ‘primetime’ baby-bearing years, i.e., that tiny window of opportunity between the ‘recommended’ ages of 26 and 33? Or, if we are to believe the teenage mother interviewed on Panorama, between 18 and 25?!
The fact is, our most fecund years are also (or rather should be) our most FUN years. I wouldn’t swap the carefree hedonism of my youth for anything. And I want more of it, please! I do not need to hear mothers bleating on at me about how ‘wonderful’ and ‘life-affirming’ it is to have a child. I have no doubt that it is. I still get those broody pangs, dammit – I am not completely cold to the idea. But right now, I choose to continue to say ‘no, thanks’ to motherhood. I hear my clock ticking a little louder each month and yet I still choose to say ‘no’ to sleepless nights, stretchmarks, sore nipples and soiled nappies.
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See Also:
Bach And Bush Flowers
Health_MOT
PMS
Mentally Disabled Children
The Elixir Of Life