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Connecting the Dots by Neely Steinberg Every Valentine’s Day, single women around the world contemplate their own romantic fates. Not that we don’t do this on a daily basis (believe me, we do!), but in comparison to the other 364 days of the year, February 14 th always brings a unique sense of urgency to our respective love lives. The questions swirl uncontrollably in our minds. When is it going to happen? Why hasn’t it happened yet? Am I going to be single forever? Several months ago, I received an email from an acquaintance of mine. I saved it because the message within the email was a very important one - one that I knew I’d eventually want to share with other single ladies. What better day to instill hope in the lives of single women everywhere than on Valentine’s Day? In this email was Steve Jobs’ (CEO of Apple Computer) graduation speech to the 2005 graduating class of Stanford University. To be sure, his words were inspirational, but there was one passage that I found particularly captivating. Mr. Jobs’ goal was to tell the students three stories from his life. The first one was about “connecting the dots.” He launched into the details and experiences that led up to his founding of Apple. He was a drifter, unsure of what he wanted to do early on in his life. He enrolled in college but dropped out after a year, he slept on friends’ floors, he returned coke bottles for money, and he randomly decided to take a calligraphy class at college (which later helped him design beautiful typography into the Mac). All of these experiences seemed pointless to him at the time and of course it was impossible for him to connect the dots looking forward when he was 18. But it was “very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.” He continues, “Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.” Our lives are like puzzles, just waiting for the pieces to fall into place and for the final dots to connect. Perhaps all of the en that have trickled in and out of my life have served a purpose. Maybe all of my dating experiences, even the heart-wrenching ones, have helped me to grow and to learn more about what I want and need in a man and a relationship. Admittedly, my single friends and I often complain about dating and being alone on February 14 th and it‘s hard sometimes for us to see the forest for the trees, but I’m going to hedge my bets with Mr. Jobs and trust that the dots will come together in the end. Neely Steinberg is a freelance writer living in Boston. Email her at neely@nuts4chic.com
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Sometimes, I wish I had found the love of my life when I was 20. No heartbreak to contend with, no more bad first dates, no more Valentine’s Days spent alone, and best of all no more analyzing; just a nice, easy path without the messiness of dating in your 20s. Like Steve Martin says in the movie Parenthood, “I hate messy, it’s just so…MESSY!”
