Early Stages (anywhere from 1-3 months)
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| “Dangerous,” “Do Not Pick Up,” and “Stay Away” should be programmed into your phone for his number |
Usually you will be able to recognize the Big-Willoughby potential early on, most often within the first few months. Of course, the best advice would be to walk away from this sort of guy; however, I can attest to the fact that it can be very difficult to do, as there is usually some kind of intangible connection - a chemistry, if you will, that you can‘t exactly put your finger on. So if, against all better judgment, you do decide to engage in a relationship with a potential Big-Willoughby, it is important that you remember the following suggestions.
1) In the early stages of dating a Big-Willoughby, you should always begin by programming his number into your cell phone by using his NAME, as opposed to just letting his phone number show up on your caller id screen. Unfortunately, I had nobody’s advice to heed with my own Big-Willoughby and for many months, I never programmed his name in (thinking that if I didn’t program it in, then I wasn’t allowing him to infiltrate my heart). Of course, the unfortunate consequence of this move is a ten digit sequence that is forever burned in my brain.
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| Walk away from him and the relationship as fast as humanly possible |
When you do program your respective Big-Willoughby’s number into your phone, you can start by using his name. However, once the Big-Willoughby behavior kicks in (usually after he’s pursued you hard and fast and then undoubtedly disappointed you in some way), I suggest that you substitute his name with various terms that, when flashing on your phone screen, are likely to make you think twice about continuing a relationship with this man. Here are a couple of my favorites: “Dangerous,” “Do Not Pick Up,” and “Stay Away.” When the relationship really starts to go south (believe me, it will), you will now need to immediately purge his number (hopefully programmed under Dangerous, Do Not Pick Up, or Stay Away) from your cell phone contact list. When he calls to try to win you back or tell you that he misses you, you will most likely recognize his number but will have never memorized it. This is the time to quickly look away and then immediately erase (or have a friend do it) the number from your MISSED call log (because you did NOT pick up, right?) so that you will absolutely not be able to contact him, EVER. Repeat every time he calls.
Also, this act of immediate purging will preemptively eliminate your ability to drunk dial. When you reach a moment of weakness in which you feel the impending urge to call or text your Big-Willoughby (usually after a few Pinot Grigios), you will not be able to remember his number. You will wake up the next morning, undoubtedly with a hangover but extremely thankful to me for my prudent counsel.
2) If you ever feel like you are losing yourself, or you are becoming a person that you do not like…retreat immediately! Walk away from him and the relationship as fast as humanly possible. If you’re lucky, you won’t be so far gone or infatuated that it becomes nearly impossible to stay away.
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